Seriously- writing and craft has spoiled my reading pleasure...sigh. Example: The following sentence is the opening sentence to a thriller I've been assigned for class- circa 2005
"R. Charles Janus, M.D., magna cum laude graduate of Dartmouth Medical, fellow if the American Academy of Neurology--and long time closet homosexual--had spent the waning minutes of Memorial Day slowly cruising his pearlescent gray Jag past the dimly lit side streets and avenues of West Chelsea."
Do you see any problems with the construction of the sentence? yeah... 1) Way too long 2) No real hook --unless you find closet homosexual titillating (which I don't particularly). 3) Passive (Had spent) 4) This is the bad guy not the hero. 5) You have no idea what his goal, his motivation or his conflict is...
Yes this book is published and marked with a sticker declaring "Good read guaranteed" by the publisher.
My Sunday blog was about the randomness of publishing... I don't think I need to say anything more. Cheers!